If you are already living with your soon-to-be groom, you may not have this question. Whose stuff is it anyway? Couples face this problem often, and it has been showcased in different relationships, including Reality TV. The question of parting with your favorite items can put a hold on your relationship, and make the other person feel obligated to give into the other's demands.
Not only are you moving in together, but now your stuff, and his stuff are intertwined, and we aren't even past the I-do's.
The important thing is to remember, that your relationship is not defined by the stuff, but by the relationship you have built over time. A relationship, the marriage, happens to be a
a continuous journey of couple's discovery.
By living together before you get married, you may find out some things you never knew about your partner, maybe
you can work on together, or separately. Terri D. Orbuch, Author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, says if you do decide to move in together make sure you know who you are as a couple, and how commited you are to one another.
The Top 6 questions to ask before getting married or living together should be:
1. What are our core values and beliefs? This will be especially important if you decide to have children, you both need to be on the same page,when it comes to rearing your children.
2. Who will handle the finances? Money is the number one reason, couples fight or get divorced. So you have to make sure you iron out the details of who handles what before you walk down the aisle.
Certain questions that may come up are: Will we have separate accounts, joint accounts,credit cards? It just makes sense to make sure you both are financially savvy when it comes to these issues.
3. What is the plan? Are you moving out or in on a particular date? Where will your belongings go? Who is allowed to keep what? Some people hoard items, or clutter, it's time to think about, if we are living in the same space together, we have to have consideration for another person apart from ourselves.
4. How is conflict handled? It is important to hash this out in the beginning of the relationship. As a couple decide the best way to resolve arguments, and stick to it throughout your relationship, to improve the communication between
the both of you.
5. How will you handle problems that arise in each other's families? As you combine two families, there are bound to be issues somewhere, you may not like the way his sister spoke to you during a Sunday Family Dinner, or you may think his Mom has total disregard for you and your opinions. As a couple you have to decide how to prepare and handle conflict coming from the opposing team, and how you work together to resolve it.
6. Do you need couples therapy? Couples therapy was once taboo, but not anymore, if you need therapy get it now. Your relationship will thank you later for it. It can be important to have an observant third-party to resolve certain conflicts, that keep coming up over time.
Marriage is a big leap of faith, you have to be sure that you are with the right person, for all of the right reasons. Creating a stronger and longer marriage is the ultimate key to happiness, and love.
As a bride to-be, the pressure is on you, to prepare the most exsquisite event, that anyone has ever seen, however during this time, it is also when you, can and will become the most stressed, and may even shut out your significant other. If you follow these important tips, you will be well on your way to managing the stress involved in planning one of the most important days of your life!
Let's start with the fact that growing up, we played the married princess, being rescued in our pristine castles, by the handsome prince. Well, now that you have your prince, in real life of course, you don't want him to feel left out of the planning. If your soon-to-be husband, tells you he doesn't want to be involved or know anything about the big day! Don't believe him, in the end talking about your plans, with them, makes them feel as important and significant in the bridal process as you do. I am not sure, if you caught a glimpse of "Kim Kardashian's Fairytale Wedding", she was so stressed out, they had exceeded the amount of guests and possibly would have to un-invite a couple hundred people, or change the location of the reception altogether. All the while her soon-to-be husband's frustrations were mounting, this happens to everyone.
During, this phase it is very important to keep the lines of communication open, between you and your groom. Men, need specifics, spell out all of the tasks you need him to undertake, to make your dream day come alive! Brides can become so overwhelmed with the planning, that they forget the most important concept, and that is that you have found the LOVE of your life, and this day is more importantly about the vows and commitment you're about to make.